Tag Archives: math

The Million Mistake Club

October 24, 2023Humor, Mathematical Humor, Problem Solving, Recreational Math, Theomaticsanger, betrayal, bitterness, blunder, delays, deliverance, destiny, detours, disappointments, doubts, failure, faux pas, fears, forgiveness, freedom, future, God, grace, hurts, insecurities, math, Million Dollar Club, Million Mile Club, Million Mistake Club, millionaire, mistake, past, prison, purpose, regrets, success, wealthKow-Cheong Yan

If we’ve been an employee rather than an entrepreneur or businessperson for most parts of our working life, most of us would probably not be eligible to join the Million Dollar Club.

Even for those of you who’re frequent flyers, the chances that you’d qualify for a Million Mile Club are probably not that high, too.

On the other hand, for an obscene number of us who’ve made at least a million mistakes, we’re likely to meet the criteria of becoming a member of the “Million Mistake Club.”

If you’re the lucky ones who’d never qualify for this notorious club, congratulations to you for living a life defined by manifold successes and few failures, either because you’re blessed with an Einstein brain (or born with a silver spoon in the mouth), or you’re simply averse to taking any risks (which would help reduce your failure rate).

An Age Problem

On average, guesstimate how young or old someone in most parts of the world would be by the time they make their millionth mistake. In their late 20s or early 30s? Go ahead and figure this out—it’s good for your left brain!

In TrumpLand (plagued by an unrighteous party and ruled by a self-righteous party), PutinLand (misruled by self-glory and orthodox church history), or XiLand (ruled by capitalist dictatorship and hostage diplomacy), what percentage of their politicians and prisoners (or even prosperity pastors) might have already joined the “Billion Mistake Club,” or are about to do so if they’d live beyond the three- or four-scores-and-ten lifespan?

A nation of aged oft-morally corrupt politicians and presidents

The Positives of a Million Mistake Club Member

Do you qualify as a member of the Million Mistake Club? If you’re a life member like me, what are the chances that you’d be a lot nicer to others by then?

Wouldn’t the world be a better rather than a bitter place if we celebrated members of the Million Mistake Club (instead of canceling or condemning them)?

Think of ex-convicts who’re now a free man or woman after paying for their mistakes. Or those who’ve been pardoned or released early for good behavior.

A screen shot stolen while attending a service

Why not uninhibitedly post on social media that you’ve joined the Million Mistake Club, and as a result your friends, fans, and followers could positively expect a different you—someone who’s less critical or condemning.

A new you who’s more understanding, forgiving and gracious, and less on comparing, competing, and complaining.

Of course, it’s easier preached than practiced, but nevertheless embarking on a life of contentment and consensus is the beginning of a life journey that would bear much fruit now and in future.

Remember: Your past doesn’t define you. What counts in the end: It’s not so much how you start, but how you finish.

Freely & truly yours

Formula One Singapore: Blessing or Curse?

September 17, 2023Humor, Mathematical Humor, Recreational Math, Theomaticsbribery, business, corruption, Covid-19, entertainment, ethics, exotic guests, F1 blessing, F1 Math, F1 protection, F1 race, fear, God, infection, math, money, noise pollution, profit, religion, Singapore, Singapore Grand Prix, Singapore politics, tourismKow-Cheong Yan

Since 2008, except in 2020 and 2021, when the night race was cancelled due to Covid-19, Singapore Grand Prix has had its highs and lows.

Most locals would hardly shed a crocodile tear should the three-day noise-pollution event cease to be held in the “fine” city in future, albeit a record 302,000 “fans” turned up for the 2022 F1 Singapore GP.

In 2019, when the hazy event venue was at an unhealthy level, race organizers were giving away thousands of free F1 tickets to beef up the number of attendees for the F1 night race to avoid the sight of empty seats. Who says that begging and betting are mutually exclusive?

The environmentally unfriendly event appeals mostly to diehard F1 fans, as F1 fatigue had already set in among locals who’d attended a few more canned events after 2008.

The Singapore F1 night race looks more like a curse than a blessing for a segment of the population, especially retail shop and restaurant owners (with cancelled meal orders and table reservations), and service providers (few gym or tuition classes, haircuts, etc.) in the Marina Bay area.

Some of them have their sales dwindled this week due to customers’ difficulties of navigating around road closures, or the latter’s decision to give their venue of choice a miss to avoid any inconvenience.

And religious services and recreational activities in the area had to be cancelled as a result of noise pollution from this weekend event. Even the holy souls or health freaks, who need to be in the vicinity, rain or shine, pollution or not, would have to find alternative parking space to attend to their weekly rituals.

A Hell of a Race

Deemed the “most difficult race of the year,” Singapore’s Marina Bay circuit is notorious for its plethora of 90-degree corners along the 23-turn lap. And F1 drivers’ annual complaining mantra is the sauna- or oven-like conditions of warm and sweaty Singapore.

God in the Wheels—F1 Goes Spiritual

In the aftermath of F1 race organizers seeking protection from God, gods, or goddesses, back in 2016, I’d irreverently coined “F1 Blessing”:

F1 Blessing: When religious leaders from various faiths come together annually to pray for the Singapore Grand Prix and to bless the Formula One night race.

Example: The public has no idea whether the F1 blessing requires the holy men to go through a list of prayer items; if not, what exactly are they praying about?—safety of drivers? good sale of tickets? no crazy spectators crossing the racing track when the race is on? God knows!

by MathPlus September 09, 2016

F1 Prayers

Let’s pray these three F1 prayers for 2023:

1. Pray that few diehard (or better still, zero) fans at the Singapore Grand Prix would be infected with Pirola, the newly recognized variant of Omicron (Covid-19 virus strain BA.2.86), and that no foreign spectators would bring any WHO-undetected variants into the local community.

2. In past events, we’d had unexpected guests like lizards and snakes at the Formula One Singapore event. Pray that no reptiles, giant hornets, or extraterrestrials would show up on Sunday.

3. Pray that all corrupt men and women, be they billionaires, ministers-millionaires , or organizers, who’re behind the “success” of the F1 Singapore Grand Prix, would be exposed, fined, and imprisoned for their illicit financial gains.

F1 Math

A math quickie on Singapore’s “Highest Noise Pollution Day”: Local drivers have so far failed to make the grade at the Singapore GP. Which is more likely: A Singaporean F1 driver making it to the top ten, or Singapore getting into the World Cup final?

Prayerfully and environmentally yours

A North Korea without the Kims

March 4, 2023Humor, Mathematical Humor, Recreational Math, Singapore Mathannexation, Caliphate, Crimea, Dictatorship, Ignoble Peace Prize, ISIS, Islamism, Kim Dynasty, Kim Jong Un, math, Missile, Nobel Peace Prize, North Korea, parody, politics, Putin, reunification, Russia, Singapore, terrorism, Trump, Ukraine, unholy trinity, warKow-Cheong Yan

Way back in 2017, when ISIS or radical Islamist ideologies were making inroads in a number of developing or war-torn countries, and North Korea then looked like the safest place on the planet from green terrorism, I coined North Korea as follows:

North Korea: Where jihadists daren’t go in trying to Islamize infidels unless they don’t mind going to hell sooner than later to meet up with ex-dictators Kim Jong Il and Kim Il Sung.

ISIS or the Taliban is no match for Dictator Kim Jong Un’s trained killers, if these Mohammedan jihadists dream of going to North Korea to set up their Caliphate.

by MathPlus May 31, 2017

The Kim Dynasty

The Kim dynasty is “like grandfather, like father, like son.” Would the world witness a gender change at the top, if a sister (and subsequently a daughter, legitimate or not) were to be reluctantly appointed, thus breaking the decades-long patriarchal political order? A modern-day Jezebel in waiting!

North Korea & Math Education

Imagine if North Korean students were to take part in TIMSS and PISA, what are the chances that they would outrank or outwit their Singaporean or mainland Chinese counterparts in both math and science?

Or, if you needed a part-time or freelance value-for-money coder (or licenced hacker), would you choose one from Singapore, India, or North Korea? The choice is pretty clear, isn’t it?

Dark Political Math

After Comrade Kim’s last heartbeat, what are the odds that the two Koreas might be reunited as one? Or would this reunification happen earlier, say, if the hermit nation was forced to surrender following a series of bombings on Pyongyang or on its nuclear sites by the Allies?

Broken Bromance Blossomed

Imagine that Donald J. Trump is miraculously re-elected in 2024, and the Trump-Kim lukewarm bromance is rekindled with a flurry of more “love letters.”

*Reel* Leaders Nominated for Nobel Peace Prize

What are the odds that they’d eventually have a tête-à-tête at the White House? A post-pandemic reunion between two vainglorious rogues that could help raise their chances of being nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize for the nth time, as their actions (or inactions) arguably prevented a WW3!

The Peacefakers Sans Clothes

What if fearing that he’d end up on the wrong side of eternity, and also be remembered as a modern-day Hitler or Stalin, comrade Putin decided to return the annexed lands, including Crimea, to Ukraine? Would the world witness a peace prize being shared by the unholy Kim-Putin-Trump trio? Or would all three be re-nominated for the Ignoble Peace Prize instead?

The *Leadershit* Series for Rogue *Leaders*

Fake Missile for Anti-NATO*

Would the US and allies (yes-nations) only stop playing the more-sanctions game when Kim Jong-un’s patience ran out—when he decided to launch a “fake” missile targeting one of its neighbours, which would force them to take the rogue nation seriously or to treat the Kim dynasty with respect or reverence?

Peacefully & prayerfully yours

* NATO = No Action, Talk Only

Is a Kim Jong-un one too many?

February 25, 2023Humor, Recreational MathBelarus, Burma, Cambodia, China, Dictatorship, health hub, Kim Jong Un, malnourishment, math, murder, North Korea, politics, power, Russia, Singapore, Sri Lanka, Turkey, Twitter, unholy trinity, ZimbabweKow-Cheong Yan

Based on newspaper headlines over the years, how would you characterize or describe North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un? Or how would you compare him vis-à-vis other rogue heads of state in terms of IQ and EQ?

With recent or renewed interest into the warped mind of the North Korean dictator, especially with pictures of him and his (“overfed” or “overweight”) daughter, I wanted to use Kim Jong-un as “Word of the Day.”

My recent irreverent description of the über-fat soul in a land of millions of undernourished fellow citizens is the following:

The Unholy Trinity

A less-than soothing decision: Is North Korea’s leader Kim Jong Un, a wolf in sheep’s clothing or a wolf in wolf’s clothing?

Erdogan or Modi or Xi: “a wolf in sheep’s clothing” Putin: “a wolf in wolf’s clothing”
Kim: “a wolf in sheep’s/wolf’s clothing”?

A blasphemous political question to ask is: “What are the odds that Kim Jong-un might be “a sheep in wolf’s clothing”?

Kim & Twitter

Does the “Supreme Leader” Kim Jong Un have a Twitter account? The Pope and the Dalai Lama have one. Shouldn’t the dictator-murderer have one, too?

Of course, there are fake Twitter accounts of Kim, mostly demonizing rather than deifying him, but it’d be interesting that he makes a digital presence on Elon Musk’s platform to spice up the Twittersphere, while ex-comrade Trump is itching to tweet again, if not because of the financial penalty he’d face if he deserted Truth Social.

The Anointed One

If ex-president Trump was the “Chosen One,” aren’t rogue leaders like Kim Jong Un, Vladimir Putin, Recep Tayyip Erdogan, and Xi Jinping also God’s “political appointees” to rule or misrule their nations? Are they the modern-day Babylonians or forerunners of the Beast?

A Health Hub for Dictators

[Fake] Math News: Singapore took in rogue leaders like Thein Sein, Robert Mugabe, Hun Sen, Kim Jong-un, and Rajapaksa despite their manifold crimes. What are the odds that Donald J. Trump would likely add the “fine” city as his sanctuary of choice should he be imprisoned and become a fugitive for his Jan. 6 coup?

To Bomb or Not to Bomb

Political Calculus: How long would the US & allies ignore Dictator-Murderer Kim Jong-un & gang? Would they be forced to bomb Pyongyang to prevent the “little rocket man” from accidentally hitting his neighbors?

Kim & Trump as Putin’s Special Guests

What are the odds that Donald J. Trump could be the only ex-President from the U.S. (or the West) who is still welcome in Moscow besides pro-Putin dictators Alexander Lukashenko & Kim Jong Un—and Xi Jinping if he’d compromise to supply weapons to Russia?

Who’s the Baddest of All?

Faux Leadership: Does comparing Abraham Lincoln’s leadership with Donald Trump’s leadershit sound like contrasting Lee Kuan Yew’s wisdom with Kim Jong Un’s wisdoom?

Kim’s Covert Salespeople

An “unlucky” North Korean caught for shipping luxury goods to his comrades at home was given a symbolic one-month jail sentence in the “fine” city. Estimate how many dozens of Kim Jong Un’s salesmen and saleswomen are currently in Singapore, and thousands of them in the region.

Numbers vs. Letters

February 11, 2023Mathematical Humor, Problem Solving, Recreational Math, Singapore Mathalphabet, brain, language, learning, letters, lingua franca, literacy, math, memorizing, memory, mother tongue, neuroscience, numbers, numeracy, recall, recitationKow-Cheong Yan

A while ago, I tweeted the following math or language or brain question, hoping for a layman answer from math educators or linguists or brain specialists, who might offer a quick-and-dirty explanation to that puzzle.

Another nontrivial question is: “For a number of us who’d no choice but to learn or master a few languages or dialects to survive, why do we feel at home decades later still vocalizing or reciting numbers in the (foreign) language we used while we’re growing up rather than in our mother tongue or lingua franca?”

Personally, I find it easier to recite or utter a sequence of consecutive numbers, or to work with mathematical symbols, in French rather than in English or Chinese—or in my Hakka dialect. I find it puzzling because French has now been relegated to my third or fourth language, and I hardly ever use it in my daily communication, or in any tête-à-tête meetings, other than occasionally dropping some French jargon in my writing to appear like a faux Francophone.

Although today English is my second language and lingua franca, French remains my language of choice when it comes to self-talking (or maybe even daydreaming or dreaming) in numbers or numerals.

It looks like if we learn numbers and symbols in a certain language or dialect in our formative years, we’re brainwired to recall or recite numbers in that particular language later in our adult life. This occurs especially when we’re on our own, even though we may be equally versed or quasi-fluent in other languages or dialects.

Like cycling, driving, or swimming, it appears that reciting numbers in the language of our childhood days in later years is something that stays with us for life.

When self-talking about numbers, do the majority of you who’re forced to be bilingual, trilingual, or multilingual to survive (or thrive) in school and in the workplace also share my experience? Sounds like it’s a neuro rather than a numero question we’re trying to address here!

Linguistically yours

Lunar New Year

February 5, 2023Humor, Mathematical Humor, Problem Solving, Recreational Math, Singapore Mathastrology, calendar, Chinese, Chinese New Year, dragon, fertility rate, hongbao, horror-scope, luck, Lunar New Year, math, money, mythology, pattern, prosperity, puzzle, rabbit, Singapore, Singapore math, superstition, traditionKow-Cheong Yan

Today is the last day of the annual 15-day Chinese New Year (or Lunar New Year) festival in China and Chinese communities around the world.

The Lunar New Year is so-called because the dates of celebration follow the phases of the moon—the new moon could fall on dates between January 21 and February 20, which is similar to Easter that could take place between March 22 and April 25.

Due to its “movable” date, the Lunar New Year (which is unspokenly steeped in superstition and divination, but unquestionably or expectantly celebrated by a billion-odd mainland Chinese and the forty-plus million faithfuls in the Chinese diaspora as part of Chinese tradition) serves as a rich recreational math or calendrical activity for teachers or educators worldwide.

In the Year of the Ox (or “Covidox”), which ushered in a palindromic date (12/02/2021), I pondered: “Any sexy formula that tells us when the Chinese New Year falls in a given year? Not calendrical recipes meant for symbol-minded geeks, but one for the majority of us, the simple-minded folks who’d key in the year and out come the CNY date & day of the week.”

With superstitious couples unfairly or irrationally treating baby tigers and bulls as “inauspicious,” but don’t mind baby bunnies, could supposedly conservative or puritan “fine” Singapore with a frightening low fertility rate of 1.2—below its replacement rate of 2.1, which could see its population heading the way of the dodo sans selective immigration and baby bonus cash incentives—expect a mini-baby boom in the Year of the Rabbit?

With few Covid restrictions still in place, would Singaporeans and permanent residents (and tax fugitives fearing political persecution or prison) be more excited this year to play their part in producing an above-average number of newborns-bunnies? And with Valentine’s Day around the corner, could the nation expect an overbooking of hospital beds or single wards in November?

I completely forgot that I wrote A Dozen Numerical Deeds for the Chinese New Year eight [sounds like a numerologically Sino-auspicious number?] years ago. If you want to keep the spirit of giving alive in the new bunny year, help yourself with some of the suggested gifts to bless others, Chinese and non-Chinese.

Generously yours

Math Word of the Day: Formula Feeding

January 28, 2023Humor, Mathematical Humor, Recreational Mathbaby, bonding, breastfeeding, cancer, cow milk, father bonding time, formula, formula feeding, goat milk, heath, infant, math, milk, milk allergy, milk powder, mother’s milk, parenting, shared parenting responsibilities, Singapore, skim milk, zero fatKow-Cheong Yan

On May 26, 2021, I hypocritically posed the following:

Family Math: The positives and negatives of formula feeding vis-à-vis breastfeeding. How to get millions of fathers involved in parenting, while giving the mother a break if formula feeding isn’t an option.

Below are three tweets, two of which are more than a decade old.

Got 🥛 : 🐄 or 🐐?

Lactose intolerant? Allergic to cow milk? Nature “next best thing to mother’s milk”: Singapore’s Goat Milk vine.co/v/i7OiHuQW62K (@MathPlus on 12/6/15)

Zero Fat ≠ No Fat

Beware of labels: Zero fat, no-fat (skim milk) contains 0.4 grams of fat per cup (or 86 calories per cup). A “zero lie”! #zero (@Zero_Math on 1/7/11)

Meeting & Milking the Cow!

You don’t get milk from a cow by sending a letter, or by calling on the phone. You get milk from a cow by sitting by its side & milking it. (@MathPlus on 12/2/12)

You may also be interested in Crime Watch and Crime Math, which is related to infant formula or powder milk.

Dutifully & responsibly yours

Toilet Math

January 23, 2023Humor, Problem Solving, Recreational Math, Singapore Mathdeforestation, ethics, hygiene, math, NEWater, public toilet, recycling, Singapore, toilet, toilet paper, toilet roll, wastage, waterKow-Cheong Yan

I’ve been discreetly and randomly working on the tentative The Little Toilet Math Book in the bathroom, where my best thinking often takes place. I suppose a number of you too get your aha’s or eureka’s there, albeit understandably you wouldn’t admit it.

Yesterday, as I was passing by a community center, I happily saw a toilet rolls collection box. I immediately took a photo shot of its front and side views. And my mind started rolling in some real-world questions that could match the pictures.

Below are a sample of these toilet math (🧻🔢) questions:

If residents in the “fine” city of Singapore were to recycle their toilet rolls, guesstimate how many trees could be saved every year.
How much more space could be used if donors were considerate enough to flatten their toilet rolls before dumping them into the collection or recycle box?
If citizens and residents decided using water rather than toilet rolls to clean themselves up, how many millions of liters of water they would need per day after visiting a public toilet (excluding those hundreds of thousands of men who hardly ever wash their hands after relieving themselves or doing their dirty business)?
For a household, would using a bidet or water at home be dearer or cheaper than relying on toilet rolls in the long run (including medical bills for piles and other related health issues that are directly or indirectly due to paper uncleanliness or poor hygiene)?
Imagine that Singapore could no longer import toilet paper from its neighbors. Wouldn’t switching to NEWater—Singapore’s homemade drinkable water, which comes from polluted sea water and “toilet water” mixed with bacteria-killing agents, and which disputably smacks of or smells like sewage—cost for for the population than using toilet paper for doing their business?

Often times, for a community project to succeed, not only do we need that little extra effort but also an iota of thought to ensure that all stakeholders mindfully (or inconveniently) play their part.

Let’s all do the right thing and the thing right, because success often lies not so much in the doing but rather in the caring.

Remember: There is no Planet B (for Generations 𝛼, 𝛽, and 𝛾).

Environmentally and mindfully yours

Pi versus WHO

January 17, 2023Humor, Mathematical Humor, Singapore MathChina, Covid-19, Greek numerals, humor, lawsuit, libel, math, mutant, pi, Pi Approximation Day, Pi Day, politics, recognition, Singapore, Singapore math, variant, WHO, XiKow-Cheong Yan

Pi recently took a page from Singapore’s only ruling party’s decades-long successful template how to stay in power perpetually, with quasi-zero public protests, strikes, and riots.

Will Pi win her viral legal case against the World Health Organization (WHO)? Millions of math teachers worldwide are unspokenly hoping that the WHO won’t alienate or betray Pi, just as it did for the marginalized and unrecognized variant Xi.

Would Pi be vindicated for unfairly being discriminated by those who’re playing politics to prevent her from being admitted as a bona-fide corona variant worthy of WHO’s recognition?

Imagine how excited math educators globally would be if Pi won her legal case against the WHO.

Come Pi Day or Pi Approximation Day, if the 16th letter of the Greek alphabet were officially declared a WHO-approved variant by then, schools and universities would be electrified in conducting an eclectic mix of pi talks and lectures to promote Pi’s ambivalent “murderous” new status.

I, for one, have started to work on Murderous Pi—the title of a math e-book to celebrate Pi’s evolution from a humble mathematical constant to a proud corona variant, which would be plagued with devilish or wicked problems on mathematics’s most beloved irrational number.

Are you looking forward for Pi’s long-overdue recognition by WHO’s health professionals in the Lunar New Year of the Rabbit?

Until she’s virally credited for her fatally mixed impact on earthlings before she’d rest in peace to make way for Rho and Sigma, who’re lining up to be WHO-recognized, Pi’s rejection would be perceived as an irrational [mathematical & viral] injustice or betrayal, whose aftermath paranoiac behaviors among math educators and virologists worldwide could potentially be unpeaceful, to say the least.

Like the “infidel” Zero, who’s ostracized by the Church Fathers of yesteryear, may the “agnostic” or “devilish” Pi be vindicated as she longs to gain formal approval to be in the company of fellow corona variants.

Math Word of the Day: Mathemachicken

June 28, 2022Humor, Mathematical Humor, Problem Solving, Recreational Math, Singapore Mathban, chicken, egg, humor, inflation, kampong chicken, Malaysia, math, mathophobia, organic chicken, philosophy, problem solving, profiteering, Singapore, Ukraine, warKow-Cheong Yan

I can’t recall what prompted me to coin “mathemachicken” three-odd years ago. Was it the aftermath of setting or solving an unhealthy number of word problems on chickens or eggs, or both?

Not too long ago, in Organic Chicken Rice for the Rich, I hatched up a meme and offered some math questions on organic and kampong chickens. https://bit.ly/3y1fXvL

Early this month, the world read about Malaysia’s decision to ban the export of chickens (but not eggs) to its frenemy neighbor Singapore. In fact, even before the ban, the prices of chicken eggs were already skyrocketing in supermarkets, which sounds more like a case of synchronized profiteering strategies among exporters, distributors, and supermarkets than anything else, but after some Opposition members had denounced the unjustified inflated prices, things have since stabilized more or less.

Ukrainian Eggs 4 Singapore

During Singapore’s “circuit breaker”—a PC term for “lockdown”—we’re blessed with white eggs flown from Ukraine. I recall that some supermarkets had promotions like “Buy One, Get One Free” or “Buy Two, Get One Free” to lure locals to try Ukrainian eggs. Since the war, the import of these bigger and cheaper eggs seems to have come to a halt.

Probably no animal is more popular than the chicken in math word problems—even the beloved bunny comes a distant second. Be it the use of their heads, eyes, legs, or eggs, the chicken remains the animal of choice among mathematical problem posers.

Tens of thousands of brain-friendly and unfriendly math questions on chickens and eggs around the world make their way into canned and creative math textbooks every year, which makes millions of math-anxious students worldwide to “chicken out” to avoid being given all kinds of labels by peers and parents for their oft-irrational fear or failure to solving them.

Philosophically Speaking

If you were a chicken, would you feel privileged or pissed off by the way your name is being used, abused, or misused in school textbooks and workbooks?

Do you think it’s long overdue that you and your feathery friends and foes sue the publishers and the Ministries of Education around the world for showing disrespect or even disdain towards the chicken community?

On a lighter note, if it looks like a chicken and clucks and counts like a chicken, you never know: it might be a mathemachicken.

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